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Facing denial, especially when it happens repeatedly, is anything but enjoyable. An editor is saying no, giving a firm “Not interested.” Working in writing, I am no stranger to rejection. I began pitching articles half a century past, upon finishing university. From that point, I have had several works rejected, along with nonfiction proposals and countless essays. Over the past 20 years, focusing on commentary, the rejections have only increased. On average, I receive a setback multiple times weekly—amounting to more than 100 annually. In total, rejections throughout my life run into thousands. By now, I could claim a advanced degree in rejection.

However, is this a complaining tirade? Absolutely not. As, at last, at 73 years old, I have accepted rejection.

How Have I Accomplished It?

Some context: At this point, nearly everyone and others has said no. I’ve never tracked my win-lose ratio—it would be quite demoralizing.

For example: recently, a newspaper editor turned down 20 articles consecutively before accepting one. A few years ago, over 50 editors declined my manuscript before a single one gave the green light. A few years later, 25 agents declined a project. One editor suggested that I send articles only once a month.

My Steps of Setback

In my 20s, all rejections were painful. I took them personally. I believed my writing was being turned down, but who I am.

As soon as a piece was rejected, I would go through the process of setback:

• First, shock. What went wrong? How could these people be ignore my skill?
• Next, refusal to accept. Certainly it’s the incorrect submission? It has to be an oversight.
• Third, dismissal. What do they know? Who made you to decide on my efforts? They’re foolish and the magazine is poor. I refuse this refusal.
• After that, frustration at those who rejected me, followed by anger at myself. Why would I do this to myself? Am I a martyr?
• Subsequently, pleading (often mixed with optimism). What will it take you to see me as a once-in-a-generation talent?
• Sixth, sadness. I’m not talented. Worse, I can never become any good.

I experienced this over many years.

Notable Company

Naturally, I was in fine company. Tales of creators whose manuscripts was at first turned down are legion. The author of Moby-Dick. The creator of Frankenstein. James Joyce’s Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. The author of Catch-22. Virtually all writer of repute was originally turned down. Because they managed to persevere, then possibly I could, too. The basketball legend was not selected for his high school basketball team. The majority of American leaders over the recent history had previously lost campaigns. Sylvester Stallone claims that his Rocky screenplay and bid to star were rejected 1,500 times. For him, denial as someone blowing a bugle to rouse me and get going, not backing down,” he stated.

Acceptance

Then, as I reached my later years, I reached the final phase of rejection. Peace. Now, I more clearly see the many reasons why someone says no. Firstly, an reviewer may have just published a comparable article, or have one underway, or just be thinking about something along the same lines for a different writer.

Or, more discouragingly, my pitch is uninteresting. Or the editor believes I lack the credentials or standing to succeed. Perhaps is no longer in the market for the work I am offering. Or was too distracted and reviewed my work too fast to recognize its quality.

Feel free call it an awakening. Anything can be rejected, and for numerous reasons, and there is pretty much not much you can do about it. Certain rationales for denial are always beyond your control.

Your Responsibility

Additional reasons are your fault. Honestly, my pitches and submissions may occasionally be flawed. They may not resonate and resonance, or the point I am struggling to articulate is poorly presented. Or I’m being obviously derivative. Or an aspect about my grammar, especially commas, was offensive.

The essence is that, regardless of all my decades of effort and rejection, I have succeeded in being recognized. I’ve authored several titles—my first when I was in my fifties, the next, a personal story, at 65—and more than 1,000 articles. Those pieces have appeared in publications major and minor, in regional, worldwide outlets. My first op-ed ran decades ago—and I have now written to various outlets for five decades.

Yet, no blockbusters, no signings at major stores, no features on TV programs, no presentations, no honors, no Pulitzers, no Nobel, and no national honor. But I can more readily handle rejection at my age, because my, admittedly modest successes have eased the blows of my frequent denials. I can choose to be philosophical about it all now.

Valuable Rejection

Denial can be instructive, but when you heed what it’s indicating. Or else, you will likely just keep seeing denial incorrectly. What teachings have I learned?

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